Happy Turkey Day, Loves. We’re thankful that all of you love lemons just as much as we do. Special thanks to Touchstone67 for this weeks LemonShot!

Enjoy and we’ll see you again next week!
bsmog, Meg, and Kassiah

Summary: Edward is a married novelist of some renown. An unexpected reunion in a bookstore reawakens old feelings in him never fully buried of lost love, desire, aching regret and tentative hope. But does the object of his feelings still feel the same? All-Human Edward/Jasper slash

To some, a good lemon is nothing more than the act of sex itself, but I need more. No matter if it is a tender first time or hot wall fucking, I need details and emotions. I want to know who is doing what where and how it feels, whether there is desire and lust, or love and devotion. Admittedly, I tend to lean toward preferring my smut on the angsty side, perhaps goodbye sex or longing for another or an affair.

The last is what brings me to the lemon I have chosen. Begin Again is an older Jasper/Edward slash story and one I fell in love with only a few paragraphs in. I’m a sucker for flawed characters, I don’t need Edward, or anyone else, to be perfect, I want them real, I want them to make mistakes. Edward in Begin Again made a huge mistake. He gave up the love of his life, Jasper, because Edward was afraid being openly gay with a man would hurt his book sales, so instead, he married Bella.

After a gut wrenching breakup and long separation, Edward runs into Jasper at a bookstore and finds that no matter who is married to, his heart beats for only one person. There are actually two lemons I want to share, and neither are full lemons, but they are both perfect examples of how C Me Smile worked emotion into her smut.

The first lemon I have chosen is in chapter three, Jasper has agreed to meet Edward for coffee and a walk through the park.

The park is nearly empty at this time of the morning as Jasper and I walk side-by-side together in the companionable silence we had once enjoyed and have picked up again easily, unspoken language flowing between us – the language of looks and the glancing brush of our hands against one another.

Even so, I know we should talk and I sense the storm inside him, his desire to say whatever he is warring with himself to say to me, but he remains silent, as do I.

I can feel the slow heat building inside me, and I clench my fist to control it. Jasper feels the tension in my hand and glances down at the one nearest him, covering it with his own warm, broad hand and I sigh, a shaky breath escaping me at that tender, reassuring touch. He smiles and gazes into my eyes and I’m lost…

I want to know him again. I need to know him again inside and out, literally and figuratively. I turn my hand in his, grasping his fingers as I lean into him, my breath warm as it stirs against Jasper’s ear, ruffling the hair above it lightly, and I murmur into his ear. “I want to open you like a book, Jasper, and know every inch of you again…”

He moans and I sigh then, leaning my head into his, the sexual longing and the aching love for my ex-lover, still my beloved, burning through my psyche, this need that stirs and rouses – hungry and attentive- inside me for Jasper. It is a desire that goes beyond the physical, a love that nearly undoes me as I slide my other hand down to take his, entwining his long fingers with my own. Every pounding pulse of my heart rushes through me, beating in my chest, my head, my cock, like a drum, the throbbing growing more insistent as he slides his hard thigh between my own and we gaze at each other – a world of love and anxiety and guilt and desire whirling in those green depths. “Please, Jasper, oh God, baby…”

They are only holding hands, and yet you can feel the intensity of their undeniable chemistry. The tension and want between them is palpable with an innocent touch.

I trail off, licking my lips in anticipation. Words aren’t needed. Not right now. All I need is him, his lips, his arms, his love.

I can feel my body trembling with pent-up desire as I lean into him, savoring the moment, the feel of that breath against my face, soft across my lips, as I feel him release one of my hands, palming up my back with a soft sigh before gently sliding his hand into my hair, tangling his fingers in it as he pulls me in with something that almost sounds like… what? A sigh of desire? Of defeat?

I don’t have long to muse on it before he’s angling that lush mouth against my own and I can feel those succulent lips against mine and I nearly cry at the touch, the warmth, the taste of him as our mouths meet and I feel a shiver of sensation fire up my spine, melting it as surely as a flame. I’m groaning, the sound muffled against that soft – so soft – warmth, that moist satiny sweetness as he presses his lips to mine, almost tentatively sliding his lips against and between my own.

It’s almost too much pure sensation and I’m nearly whimpering now at the tight, hot feeling that surges through me, cock throbbing, at the feel of that lush mouth pressed so intimately to mine, and I gasp as I feel him pull back a bit, panting soft fragrant breaths against my lips as he whispers my name in that slow husky drawl.

“Edward…”

I smile against his lips, nodding slightly. “Yes, baby.”

Then I lean forward to take his lips again, this kiss hotter, and I am unable to resist the pleasure that curls up my belly and purrs in my loins as he kisses me back, caressing my lips so slowly, so sensually, with his own, gently laving his tongue against my lower lip, softly across it, tracing it smooth and slow, then below it, teasing, nibbling my bottom lip gently, before soothing it between the pillow-like softness of his own lips, settling in for a slow, wet suckling.

I groan, my hands sliding around his back, my cock throbbing harder, so insistent, as I pull from those drugging lips to whisper, “Please, can we go to your place?
Jasper, oh fuck, please..?”

A simple kiss but made so much more with C Me Smile’s poetic words and intricate details. Some might read it as too romantic or wordy, but I enjoy those details that put me right there with him, tasting Jasper’s lips just as Edward does. You can feel the need in the last paragraph.

The fire scorching through us, we’re barely in the door of his apartment before I’m grabbing his shoulders with a guttural growl, pushing him backward against the couch. He grins slow and thoroughly wickedly up at me – a grin I return in just as salacious a fashion – as I fall to the couch and pull him into my lap, fisting my hands through that torrent of warm curls, pulling his neck back as I lean in to bite at the skin there, sucking, licking, claiming. His skin is warm and salty beneath my tongue as I rasp it over the stubble on his neck, breathing in the scent of him, all my senses reeling at the nearness of him again, the feel of him.

He’s groaning, throbbing hot and hard against me and it’s so fucking perfect I wonder if I can die of this. Of having gone so long without this heady, incomparable pleasure that I feel I will surely burst into an inferno from finally feeling it again.

Jasper palms down my back, nails lightly scratching at my shirt, soothing the shaking of my body against him as he tilts his head to take my lips again, moving his mouth against mine. He kisses me so slowly. He’s almost languorous in his sensuality. His full bottom lip slides against the moist seam between my own, then with a soft moan, he runs the hot, silky tip of his tongue against my top lip, panting softly against my mouth, one hand at my hip now, stroking it firmly, kneading and needing.

My heart and cock are pounding again at the taste and feel of Jasper and I want him. I want to slide inside that tight velvet embrace and roll my hips deep and smooth and swirl my aching cock inside the warm sheath of his body as he groans and grips me tighter with his arms and legs, a sweaty unrelenting clench, his hips driving up to meet mine.

I want to feel him thrusting, slowly and lushly opening my body to his love. I want to feel that hot, hard length swelling with every inch that I take him in, that exquisite pleasure-pain that makes my nerves jangle and dance as he rolls his hips, pushing so hard that I’m grasping his sweat-slicked back, scratching the smooth, flexing muscles that undulate with each rhythmic, slow but deep thrust.

Lost in my want, in my delirious anticipatory fantasies of what I want for us today, I rock against him, grinding my erection hard into his, gripping his hips as I twist mine, rolling my hard cock over his, the friction making me near delirious and he cries out, pulling from the kiss with a low groan.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he mutters and I lean in to kiss him hard, tasting the flavor of his desire, his need that is equal to my own.

With a soft purring growl of desire, I push him backwards against the couch and slide atop him. He flashes a crooked, dimpled grin at me and groans hot and lusty against my mouth as we kiss. His tongue slides between my lips and it’s as sweet and lush and warm as I remembered, better than I remember – tasting of his toothpaste and his coffee and that indefinable flavor that is just Jasper. I’m so hungry, kissing him with an almost feverish intensity, a hunger borne of love and long-bottled passion that burns and rolls hot and sweet through my veins, sparking along every inch of my nerves.

Jasper is a firestorm and he’s burning me alive on a pyre of desire.

I feel his erection throbbing tight and hard and heated against my own and I pull from his mouth, panting huskily. “I want you, Jasper.”

UNF, you can just feel the heat in the words, their wanton need for each other and the consequences be damned. They have been apart for two years, two years of memories and reunion fantasies become reality for them both. I’m a sucker for straddling, there is nothing hotter than two sexy guys desperately dry humping.

He rolls me under him, nearly tucking me beneath him, and I frown at this shift in power, but then he’s kissing my forehead, kissing away the furrowed lines there as he nudges his thigh under mine, lifting it so that he can rock smooth and hot against me. I groan at the feel of that hard throbbing heat against my own, my head falling back against the couch even as he leans in to kiss me again. He presses his lips firmer against mine, his mouth moving hard and hungry now, anxious as he urges me with lips and tongue and soft, begging breath, to let him inside my mouth and I wonder if he means his tongue or his cock. Both are welcome.

I want him inside me in every sense and I want inside of him. I want him entirely.

Those swollen lips and that satiny, swirling ribbon of tongue send fire licking through my senses and my body tightens even more, my cock heavy and hot with blood and desire as I arch into those hips grinding down unmercifully against my own. I feel Jasper’s hands sliding over to toy with the buttons of my shirt, pressing his face to my neck again; long lashes fluttering against my skin with the delicate beat of a butterfly’s wings, a contrast to the hard, insistent heat of our erections as I buck into him and he grinds down into me. I slide my hand down cupping him through his jeans and he groans my name and I can feel him twitching, swelling beneath my fingers.

He’s growling against my ear, even as my own breath escapes me in stuttering gasps of fire-sharpened desire, my back bowing off the couch, arching into that lean, lithe body above me. I move my hands to hold tight to those twisting hips, holding them down to my own, and I feel Jasper lift himself a bit. I feel him trembling against me as he reaches down to unbutton and unzip his jeans, his hot gaze locked on mine and I nod, licking over my kiss-swollen lips, breathing hard through my nose now as I lift my hand to caress his cheek.

Something snaps in his eyes then, the deep, desire-darkened pools widening as he grows stiff and still above me, his jaw tense, his throat working silently.

Confused, I cup his neck with my hand, looking into those stormy eyes. “Jasper…? Honey, what is it? What’s wrong?”

I stroke his cheek again, the whiskers there tickling against my hand, but he flinches away from my touch, grabbing my wrist as he shakes his sweat-dampened head and sits up with a low moan.

I sit up beside him, reaching to turn his face toward me again, needing to see the conflict that is raging in those eyes again, to try to understand, but he glares at my hand… no, it’s my ring. He’s glaring at my wedding ring.

He slides away from me, zipping his jeans again, then pushes his hand back through his hair as he gazes up at the ceiling and asks, his voice hoarse with emotion, “Edward, what the fuck are we doing?”

The emotions just pour off them, from the incredible lust after suffering so long apart to the instant regret when Japer feels Edward’s wedding ring against his skin. It’s that moment we’ve all had when we ask just what Jasper did, ‘what the fuck are we doing’, and sometimes we continue on, and other times the errant thought is enough to deter the moment. The reader is right there with them, hoping with each word they will continue, eager to see them reunite and mend their broken hearts and then our heart drops with Edward’s when he realizes what happen. It’s cockblocking, but done in a way that grips us with them instead of being frustrated we missed out on seeing what they would have done.

The next lemon picks up in chapter seven, the boys are together to talk, and unable to deny their feelings, things get physical.

Smiling against the smooth, long expanse of Jasper’s neck, I shift against him, rocking hard into him now, my thighs spreading wider on either side of his slender hips to keep my balance as I dip my head and slowly and smoothly drag the flat of my tongue up under the sharp edge of Jasper’s jaw, the scruff there scraping deliciously against my tongue as I nip him, moaning at the slight burn, my teeth scraping against his skin.

With a husky sigh, I breathe hotly over saliva-dampened skin, groaning at the sounds of his low growls of pleasure, my hands sliding from the couch where they had been braced to his broad shoulders, palms flattening, holding him in place as I glide my lips back and forth against him, sucking hard at his neck now, hips shifting, pressing in, cock throbbing harder as I lap at the salt-sweaty skin, my teeth catching at his flesh, tonguing at the rich vein there, groaning as I feel the throb of it against my eager tongue.

Jasper is moaning and I feel his heart throbbing, pounding against my chest. I can feel the trembling of his body as he breathes hard and heavy with low moaned words falling from those kiss-swollen, ripe lips, passion and remnants of angry resentment still lingering it seems as he grips my face in his hands, pushing my head down, his voice low and growling as he tells me to take him in his mouth, to suck him off, and I ache to oblige him with pleasurable penance.

With a soft, husky sigh I slide to my knees between his spread thighs and gaze up into those flaring eyes darkened with desire as I watch with hungry, wanting eyes as Jasper’s broad chest starts to shudder and heave, his hands sliding – one on my shoulder, gripping it tightly, the other on the couch, fingers splaying beside him, his hips rocking against me, unable to keep still, cock swelling and trapped beneath the tight denim of his jeans.

Wanting to drag out every precious moment, I rest my cheek against his flexing thigh for a few long seconds, gazing up at him, caught in the heat of those passion-glazed, long-lashed eyes that fire down at me – full of sultry warmth. He slides his hand into my hair, stroking through it and I close my eyes for a moment, basking in that longed-for, remembered touch and I moan, brushing my lips against his thigh, murmuring that I love him, that I’ve always loved him. And I do. And I always will. I know that now, though, I’ve never really doubted it.

Like Edward, I wanted the moment dragged out too, I wanted to know every thought and movement of them moving past a kiss. C Me Smile does a fantastic job of letting us be voyeurs on them in the most delicious of ways.

I smile to hear that huffing growl of desire as Jasper’s head falls back, the cherub curls a marked contrast to the look of wanton, wicked desire that gleams on that gorgeous face. His hips are shifting below me in tiny hitches and flexes, both of his hands now grasping at my shoulders, kneading firmly into them as he begs for me, for my mouth, trying to rub himself against the wet heat of my lips pressed against him.

Unable to wait a moment longer, I reach up to unbutton and unzip the fly of his jeans, jerking at the denim, pulling it almost roughly down over those slender hips and I groan to see he is naked below the denim, that proud gorgeous cock straining, rising from a nest of dark amber curls, swollen and reddened and gleaming with pearly drops of his desire.

“Jasper… so gorgeous, baby…” I murmur, as I wrap my hand around the throbbing base of his cock, moaning to feel the thick heat of it. Leaning in, I lavish soft, stroking licks of my tongue up the vein along the underside, swirling upwards, teasing in slow, wet circles, my breath hot as it puffs over the slick red skin, tongue flicking along the swollen head of his cock, tonguing at the glans, caressing over the tiny slit there to gather those juices that burst with spicy, intoxicating warmth over my tongue and I moan at the familiar, longed-for taste.

I can practically taste him myself.

Lips sealing tight around the head of his cock, I suck firmly – just the way I remember he likes it, my tongue fluttering along the head as he cries out, hips arching as he squeezes my shoulder in time with my mouth, breathy moans escaping those beautiful, swollen lips. I sway forward some to rest against the couch, my free hand sliding over Jasper’s thigh as I move my mouth over him, sucking him slow and steady, in rhythmic, strong pulses, humming deep in my throat at the taste and heat and feel of him inside my mouth.

I smile a little against him, my fingers gliding down to cup softly along the heavy, velvety balls, rolling them gently, loving the soft weight of them against my fingers as I pull my tongue from him and slowly rub just my lips back and forth along the saliva-slick head, my lips sticky, amazed as always at how fucking hard sucking Jasper’s cock makes my own. I ignore that sweet torment, however, wanting to visit as much pleasure as I can upon the writhing angel who gazes down at me with such desire-glazed eyes that it’s all I can do to keep from reaching my own completion just peering into those wanton depths.

I bend to lick along the head of his cock again, my hand gliding and stroking along the slick shaft as I cradle his balls with my other hand, sucking him deeper inside the wet warmth of my mouth again. Running my tongue smooth and hot along the underside, I circle it slowly up the side of the trembling length then, finally settling into a lapping rhythm of rolling my tongue up and down his hard shaft, coating it with a rich layer of saliva before sliding my mouth fully over him, taking Jasper deeper now, my mouth hot and eager, tongue twisting, pressing, lips tight around him, sucking strong and steady with soft, hitching sounds and hoarse muffled moans – a counterpart to the softly-growled obscenities and murmured words of praise and husky groans that fall from Jasper’s lips.

Oh god, the way he feels… the way he tastes. Oh fuck, how I’ve missed this, missed him.

I feel his hand moving now, caressing over my hair, his thumb tucking behind my ear, stroking under my jaw as he slides his hips back and forth on the couch, begging soft and breathy and I can tell from the trembling he is close.

I slide the slick heat of my mouth lower, moving up and down the thick shaft a few times, gliding him deeper each time until I feel the blunt, soft head of his cock at the back of my throat. Groaning at the carnal feel of his smooth, hot flesh throbbing inside my throat, my fingers clench against his thigh and lightly scape against his balls as I moan and concentrate on relaxing my throat, tactile memory settling into my muscles until I am able to take him deeper, breathing slow and steady through my nose before gliding back off him, then sliding back again, taking him yet deeper, tears pricking at my eyes as Jasper cries out almost piteously.

My cock is throbbing so hard that I can’t ignore it any longer and I reach down, pulling my own pants and boxers down to stroke hard and firm along my own cock as I work Jasper’s down my throat.

Jasper’s hips are trembling hard now as he cries out, arching, fucking into my mouth and I moan knowing I’ve brought him to this state of pure sexual abandon – my gorgeous Dionysus – lost to the bliss of his own sexual frenzy, and I, his eager acolyte worshiping, quite literally kneeling before him.

I take him deeper, suckling, squeezing, holding him tight and close as I swallow, pulsing my throat around the head of his cock, sliding and gliding him fully inside and I feel his hands knot in my sweat-dampened hair, squeezing, pulling at it as he bucks those sleek hips, sliding the thick, hard heat of him deeper down my throat until he cries out, reaching his completion, and he jerks and spasms, thrusting deep as he spills hot and thick in long spurts down my swallowing throat, Jasper’s unabashed pleasure sending shudders through my own body as I whimper in want, my lips wrapped tightly around the jerking cock, sucking strongly as I swallow him down, burrowing closer, moaning rough through my abraded throat.

Then suddenly, Jasper is reaching for me, pulling me up and nearly crushing me to him, his mouth covering mine in a hot fervent kiss that nearly steals the breath from me. Groaning, he slides his hand down over me, wrapping around my hard cock, stroking strong and firm with that broad, warm hand and I’m crying out against him, jerking, trembling, feeling the utter rapture of sexual frenzy that only Jasper brings to me with his hot hand and hotter body, his warm, wet mouth and strong arms and the blazing, glorious heaven-fire of his passion.

He bends me back over the couch, whispering warm against my lips, groaning as he tastes himself on my tongue and I can’t stop bucking into that strong callused hand, grabbing tight at the rolling muscles of his back, until my cell phone cuts through the sexual haze, ringing shrilly.

Jasper curses and pulls back from me, pushing the heavy blond curls back from his forehead with a groan as I struggle up and jerk the phone from my pocket.

Yes, another cockblock, one that leaves the reader gasping for breath along with the boys. In this story, Edward is an author and C Me Smile remains true to his character by letting him tell his story in his flowing, poetic, perhaps wordy way. As someone who writes and tends to be long winded, I’m grateful she let Edward express himself.

While I have only highlighted Edward’s point of view, the story alternates between Edward and Jasper, allowing us insight to both their thoughts and emotions regarding their reunion and the impossible situation they find themselves in; unable to live without each other, but one committed to another. C Me Smile not only writes beautiful, detailed and emotional lemons, but the rest of the story is just as amazing. The one downfall to the story is that it isn’t complete, and I fear it won’t ever be, but it hasn’t’ stopped me from rereading it many times and imagining the boys finally getting their happily ever after. Trust me, even in its incomplete status, it is well worth the read and will always be one of my favorites.